little bean baby

You made me a mom...that first minute when I held you, I knew my life would never be the same. Everyday I still can't believe how much you have grown, how sweet you are, and how you seem to get cuter with every second. I have watched you become best friends with your dad, laugh harder than I thought possible, and fall madly in love with books. I have felt you hug me like you might never let go. I have watched your face completely light up when I pick you up from school and it takes everything I have not to tear up each time you run so fast into my arms. It makes the entire day...worth it.

Your little brother is going to be here in a few short months and while I worry about life with two children, changing 100 diapers a day, and when to move you out of the nursery...I worry most about you. You are my heart, my everything, my sweet sweet boy. I worry that for one millisecond you won't feel as loved as you do now, I worry that you will feel neglected, even for just a moment when the baby comes. And my goodness if you do, I won't know how I will forgive myself.

You deserve the world and your world is about to change...luckily you don't have any idea right now how much...and there are days I wish I could truly explain it to you. But the thing is...I don't really know myself.

I promise to always hug you the minute I see you. I promise to always make time for you, even on the busiest of days. I promise to always read that extra book, sing that extra song, or take that extra time to just snuggle with you. I promise to still be the best mom I can be to you, even though my heart and hands will be a little fuller.

I worry so much...some days I feel like you don't deserve this. You don't deserve to have your life turned upside down so soon...you deserve more time as an only child. Other times I think about what an amazing gift it will be to have a brother to look up to you, to build forts with, and to most importantly be your best friend.

I truly hope that the good will outweigh the bad and our family growing by one more will bring with it more snuggles, more laughter, and more love. I hope that you feel just as loved every second of the day as you do now and always know that you will always be my baby.

love, mom

As I prepare for baby #2 due in a few short months I can't help but think of how I will do things differently and how I will get through those first few months with a new baby...

here are a few things I wish someone had told me...

Slow Down...you don't need to have dinner ready, the dishes done, grocery shopping complete. Take it all in, nap when baby naps, and just remember what a million people have told you is absolutely positively true, it goes by so unbelievably fast. You will blink your eyes and suddenly have a toddler and you won't remember how clean your house was those first few months but you will sure as hell remember those long snuggles on the couch.

Everything is a phase...thank god this one is true. Not sleeping through the night, teething, biting, not drinking milk, not wanting to read books, only eating orange foods, hating diaper changes...it is all a phase. Nothing lasts too long and before you know it you are on to the next thing. When you are in the thick of that phase you can't imagine it ever ending...but luckily...it does.

They just need you...you will buy tons upon tons of fancy toys, diapers, books, swaddles, everything under the sun. And in the beginning, especially in the beginning, they really just need you. Hold them before you put them back in the bouncer, snuggle them before you invest in another playard. You really only need a few things those first few months, don't go overboard...the stuff is nice to have, but none of it is truly necessary.

I see new moms in my neighborhood, exhausted as they push around their fancy strollers and I secretly am envious of each and every one of them...I am secretly dying to be snuggled up on the couch with a newborn...and I promise myself everyday that I will take in every moment with my next baby those first few months, because before you know it...the newborn phase is over.